I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
