I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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