Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
