fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
