I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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