Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
