you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
