It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think pants incapable of making pants work
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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