Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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