I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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