I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
