summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
