shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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