He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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