Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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