I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
