My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
As shirtless as possible
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
