Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
