What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
