I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
