Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
as a side note pls kill me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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