i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
