with your own penis?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
