i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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