I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
