Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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