you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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