Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
