we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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