thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
