Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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