he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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