if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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