After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
