Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
