I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
