you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
