I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
