At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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