I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
