if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just found a bag of teeth...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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