I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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