She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You're a waste of cheezeits
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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