Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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