I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
