i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
