Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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