Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
