Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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