Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
is wine microwaveable?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
