so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
